How ridiculous is it that I'm laying down a picnic blanket on the floor so that Maddie has a clean place to play??

Where to begin, I'm not sure I can go back and recount the week. I'm in a rut; it feels like lying when friends ask how you're doing and the reflex is, "Good." The headcold I picked up this week isn't entirely to blame but isn't helping, either. I'm a mean old bear when I'm sick...even more so than usual. The highlight of the month was today's birthday celebration for Sammy. Emily had a great time, exploring and trying new things and seeing friendly kiddie faces. She really enjoyed the ice cream and cake (who doesn't) and has been toting around her balloon and goodie bag all afternoon. I need to rest and recover in time for Monday but it's hard when the house is so gross. And it's damn near impossible to sit and think when I hear the baby wailing upstairs. Off I go.

I only have a minute, but wanted to blurt out something about Emily. When she scraped her heel earlier this (or last?) week she said she "had red" on it and I told her that was her blood. So now she's been referring to "her blood" all week... when I shove her boots on, it's, "Don't touch my blood, Mom!" And the other day as I sat in the chair in her room pulling out clothes for her to wear, she stopped and put her hands on my cheeks, stood inches from my nose looking intently at my eyes, and said, "Mommy, you have blood, too." Then she kissed both my eyes, and it wasn't until a moment later that I realized my eyes must have been pretty bloodshot. "There. Is that better now," she asked. If only. I also had to tell her that you don't really put bandaids on eyes or (chapped) lips.

Tomorrow is the preschool's "Friendship lunch" for Valentine's Day...so their having a special lunch and making their own cookies and exchanging Valentine cards. We received a card from Emily & Madie today, but I haven't opened them yet.

And it's another pair of shoes for Emily time; I hate buying her shoes because I just can't figure out where her damn toes are, if the shoes are too big or big enough. Oh, let me stop before I really start whining.

Still here. Have been feeling overextended, overtired and have let the day-to-day get the best of me. Received more awful news from friends that just breaks my heart over and over. Certainly makes us feel lucky but I just wish terrible things didn't have to happen to kids. It's not fair. And yeah, I know, "life's not fair." Here's hoping for the best, but things don't sound good. There were layoffs at work this week which just added to the general gloom and doom feeling. So, I have to focus on the brighter spots here because if you wanted to be depressed, you'd be watching the news instead of visiting here. Happier things going on: nobody's got a cold this week, the snow is melting and only some leaked into my office, we're into what I consider the last month of winter, a birthday celebration later this month, and Valentine's day preparations for the Preschool's friendship lunch on Friday. Household chores will likely take a back seat today even though the house is screaming at me for a thorough scrub down. Ella Madeline...the baby I don't know what to call...isn't mobile yet but looks like she'll be hell on all fours. She's interested in everything, and everything goes into the mouth in a way that seems different from Emily. She seems captivated by Emily's every word and action, much more so than anything I do. But hey, I'm just a boring old grown up who literally wants to sit still for hours doing absolutely nothing.